Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Guns, broads, and a Chuck Norris bar fight...

I've been told I need to man this blog up a little. The feedback didn't come from you, my loyal tens of readers. No, it was delivered (rather unceremoniously) by the robots at GenderAnalyzer.

Apparently, this blog is just 72% man.

Now I'm no math wiz, but that leaves an almost 10% probability that I am either female or "unknown". Unacceptable. This post is an attempt to increase my virtual testosterone. Go ahead, call me a doper. Everyone is doing it. How else am I supposed to stay competitive?

Al Pacino, beer and donuts, hey does that thing got a hemi, whiskey, whiskey, steak. Hunting, fishing, boobs, gun rack, bacon. John Wayne, boobs, Lynyrd Skynyrd, camping, suck it.

And... *publish*

Still 72%. That's about as manly as I can get without busting out the f-bombs. And my mom asked me to stop doing that.

6 comments:

Brianna said...

Mine is only 65% woman. Hmmm...

Nick Fox said...

Mike I do have to agree with you that that sounded pretty manly. I don't even talk that manly in my regular day to day conversations. So I guess that makes me less than 72% manly. Huh! Guess I should throw down the F-bomb more often. You know what? I will F*cking throw down the F*ckin F-bomb to mae me more F*ckin Manly!

Mike said...

Brianna - I've been meaning to mention that your blog could use a little more talk about cooking, cleaning, and laundry. You know, girl stuff. KIDDING! I'M KIDDING!

Nick - You don't think it sounded forced? Well, in that case... Yeehaw, truck stop, professional wrestling!

lisa said...

professional wrestling? Who is this man?!

#@!**#! said...

Ah, manly, yes. But I like it too. That you would consider your old mother's wishes is commendable & remarkable, given your long-standing affection for f***. Buckle-up for a tiny guy story. Most days,the conversation between 2+year-old MTH & his chauffeur were ordinary.
Mom: How was Children's World today?
MTH: Not so good. Louie hit me with his crutch & we had a bad lunch.
Then one day out of the blue from the carseat in the back:
MOM,IF YOU SAY F*** AT MY SCHOOL, YOU HAVE TO GO TO TIME-OUT.

Mike said...

#@!**#! - See also:

Kid: "I saw on a movie once where a kid wrote on his wall."

Mom: Michael, did you write on your wall?

Kid: Uhh... No. I saw it on a movie."