Tuesday, March 17, 2009

What can you do when you can't do anything?

I'm a stereotypical guy when it comes to problem solving. Throw some spackle on it. Whether at work or home, I'm pretty good at finding patches to cover up the rough spots.

Bad news about my dad today. His cancer is on the move, into the bones at his very core. As he said it, "this is going to really affect my ability to do the active things with you."

But, wait... we just did a 5-mile run in the snow on Sunday. Joking, stomping through the slush like kids with the same, easy cadence.

Shit. Reality returns.

I had swept these feelings of frustration under the rug for a few months, but now they're back. What can you do when you can't do anything? What do you say when words don't mean anything? How are you supposed to fight when you can't see the bully?

More waiting. More hollow, helpless waiting.

8 comments:

Brianna said...

I heard the news. It sucks. Being helpless can suck even more. I admire your dad's determination to not give up the things he loves.
Hard to know what else to say...it just sucks.

Roy Scribner said...

Sorry to hear that, Mike.

mom said...

So many things I could say, Michael, but none of them will make it better. We've hoped for a miracle, we'll still hope. And we'll be as strong as we know how to be, and as flimsy as we need to be. I'm glad you've shared the wind and the sun with him. I'm glad you are the person of substance you are; he can lean on you. I hold you all in my heart.

Yeti said...

Oh man, I am so so sorry to hear about this. Our thoughts are with you all.

Erika said...

I am sending positive thoughts your way, Mike.

Eileen said...

Yes it was a blow. However, I refuse to give up or let him give up. He still has a lot of running and biking with you to come. So enjoy everything. We are on to the next medicine and hoping that will work for a long time.

Mike said...

Thanks for the words of support everyone. After seeing my dad on the bike this weekend, I have no doubt we've got a lot more miles ahead of us. He kicked my butt all day! Will blog on that soon. Thanks again :)

sn0tty said...

Thinking about you and your family - sending all of my positive thoughts (all three!) your way. <3