Stopping... for bacon.

Sometimes you should ride an unknown path to its end. Other times, you know right where to go... and you should put your head down and get there. Bacon is good. Bacon aged to perfection under the warm glow of man-made sunshine is a greasy slice of heaven.

The day we were bacon...

This evening, our friends at Bacon Salt needed two giant strips of meat candy to work the room at a swanky pork-centric culinary event. Lisa and I were delighted to answer the call. Most of the attendees showered us with adoration. A few despised us. One especially feisty ol' gal insisted on punching me repeatedly. But regardless of where they fell on the love/hate scale, nobody could ignore our delicious and salty presence in the room.






Fame is ours. Can fortune be far behind? The Bacon Salt Blog
More fame: Gastrolust

What does it all meme?

I don't do surveys, give information to marketers (unless they pay), or forward those godawful "when is the last time you cried" emails. But I just got tagged by snotty in something called a "meme challenge". So, uhhhh... this is not a survey, it's a challenge. I never back down from one of those!
Unless I might get hurt, lose money, or not come away from it looking totally awesome.

Apparently, all I have to do is tell the truth 10 times. About anything. This will be easy as I'm an honest guy. And it will surely be fascinating for those of you (hi, honey) who just cannot get enough Mike. So here goes...

1) Bacon: Truth be told, I don't really like it that much. I only jumped on the baconwagon because I noticed how hip it was becoming. Just kidding! I put Bacon Salt on my bacon, punk! And now you don't know if you can trust what I say about these other 9 things... I own you!

2) Good vs Great: I'm ok with just being "good". That doesn't mean I'm not capable of, or have dreams of greatness. Only that I'm not willing to focus on just one aspect of life in order to be the best. I may never make a million... but I've managed to (mostly) avoid career burnout, spend real time with my family, and can hang with a laid-back weekend game of just about anything. Balance. Ommmmm.

3) Beer: I don't mind the cheap stuff. I love a good, flavorful brew as much as the next guy. But that shit is expensive! It doesn't have to be a handcrafted micro every day. Give me a tall-boy of PBR and let's play some Big Buck Hunter. Dude! You shot a doe!

4) Blogging: Is a fun way to stay in touch with one's family and friends. Wheeeeee. See how much fun I'm having? Now how can I get paid?

5) Divorce fallout: There's a piece missing from our family. A hollow spot in my heart every single minute of every day. I try to be tough, but I miss my son when he's not around (and sometimes even when he is).

6) Country music: It's not all bad. I've grown to appreciate some of the old-school, outlaw and honky-tonk stuff I remember hearing on jukeboxes as a kid. I was raised in Montana, and (at least through the oversimplified eyes of a teenager) you were either on the country or the city side of the fence. I picked the city and moved to Seattle almost 15 years ago.

7) The city: I'm over it. It's been fun. Now can we get a few acres in the mountains and a couple Merle Haggard albums, please?

8) Ouch: I grew up really close to one of my girl cousins. One day, seemingly everyone but me decided that we were getting too old to be hanging out so much. No more Monopoly marathons.

9) Levity: I will sometimes bust a loud fart to break the tension in a room. No squeakers either. I get up and make a big production out of it.

10) Meme challenges: This will be my last one. Ever. What the hell is a meme, again? I've been working in the Internet industry for 10 years and have never been thusly challenged. Enjoy your victory, teh snotteh.

Oh, and tag, you're it (or not, I don't really care either way). And then I guess you're supposed to tag 7 people. If you want to. Whatever. Le Lovely Life, Always Counting to 3, Subarashi, Chanda, antibike, CampingBlogger, and cousin S, you should start a blog!

Viva la bacon...

Look, we all know that "wrong" is everywhere on the Internet. And we've learned to look with half-open eyes, as if passing a wreck on the freeway. But every so often comes an insult that cannot be dismissed.

It's come to my attention that some "forward-thinking" blogs (see here, here, and here) are loudly proclaiming the death of bacon. Such a bold affront to all that is tasty cannot go without a response.

These misguided souls would have you believe that, because bacon has been co-opted and merchandised by the pop culture powers-that be, we should all take our love for the hard-working hogmeat underground.

No! Not now, not tomorrow! Not ever!

Don't shun the king of breakfast meats just because the hipsters have latched on. Welcome them into the circle with open arms. After all, bacon is The Peoples' Meat. How did the Malamute Kid survive on Alaskan dogsled trails in the 1800's? Beans and bacon, chappy. Staple protein during the Great Depression? Yessir, bacon. And for modern-day spendthrifts, what's the only thing Denny's can cook right? C'mon, you already know.

Don't let the terrorists win. They can have our bacon when they pry it from our cold, dead (and slightly greasy) fingers.

Footnote: The bacon industry bailout is failing in Congress. We encourage you to do your part to prop up the salted-and-cured meat industry by going deeper into personal debt. This holiday season, please spend the money you don't have on bacon and bacon-related merchandise.

Thank you.
teh management